I’m convinced that my mother thinks that I’m down here in Atlanta living like a prince. On the contrary, I’m living more like a pauper than anything else. I talked to her this past Thursday while I was at work, and she told me that she got an overdue notice in the mail for a bill and that something at the house would be cut off if the balance wasn’t paid in full. I of course offered to pay the bill not knowing how much it was, but then she told me that she would put up $150, and that I could pay the rest. After that, she went on to explain how there are other bills at home that needed to be paid (which included a $1000 Water Bill from when my sister was living there). I’m putting up money to help pay for all of these things, but it’s gotten to the point where I have to start letting my own bills lapse just to make sure money is put on each bill back home.
I think I may have to stay in Atlanta a couple of weeks longer just to break even on my own bills, b/c if I leave at the end of the month as planned, outside of the money I need to get home, the majority of my second to last paycheck will go to bills. When I came down here in May, I intended on spending money on a Gym Membership, buying new clothes, and just getting ahead on some of my own bills in addition to saving money. But it seems as if as soon as I mailed that first paycheck home, more and more bills have started to creep up. And you know what the funny thing about all that is? They aren’t even my bills.
Is it too much to ask to just be able to spend my money on what I want need to spend it on? I could see if I was going out buying flatscreen TV’s, PS3’s and what not every two weeks, then I wouldn’t have a problem sending money back home. But I do have a problem with sending money home because it’s gotten to the point where I have to push back necessities such as scheduled maintenance for my car, (hell, even something as simple as a car wash) and even to where I’ve had to dip into my school books/ supply money that I set aside for next term to make sure everything was straight at home.
This more or less can be blamed on my mother. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother and I appreciate everything she’s done for me and is still doing for me, but she needs to be more accountable with her money. It’s like, she’d be the first person to say that she’s broke, but she manages to have money to put on her yearly cruise or money to buy cigarettes or whatever. I’ve told her on several occasions, that if she were to cut out some of her frivolous purchases, or even go after my sister for that high ass water bill, she would be better off, and she would have more money to spread around on the necessities. But of course, she didn’t listen to what I said, and I stopped right there because I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries. I honestly don’t know what else to do at this point.
Random Thought of the Moment: “Somebody in my immediate family needs to win the lottery, and it damn sure ain’t me (although that definitely would be nice if I did).”
The Song of the Moment: “Woodstock” by Alice Smith
Hmmmm, a precarious situation. I didn’t note that you were asking for advice, but I must say this: at this point in your life, your credit is VERY important. While you have a chance to protect it and build your credit score, please take it. It ain’t no joke when you wanna buy a house and you can’t. Plus, this is your summer. You worked hard to get this internship and you should be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
The other thing that I’ve learned from experience is that when people NEED to make a way, they tend to do so. When some water gets turned off, I suspect some money will magically appear that you didn’t even know about. Tough love, baby, tough love.
It’s funny that I’m reading this post when I was just discussing this very same situation with an acquaintance on Sunday. Like you, he was paying bills for his Mom and sacrificing his wants/needs to do so. He told me that once he “stopped enabling her [they] no longer had those problems…. [He] moved out and suddenly the bills that were once overdue would get paid.”
So I guess I’m co-signing on Psonya’s comment and suggesting some wallet strings be cut.
You aren’t fishing for advice but I agree with Psonya. It’s awfully unfair of moms to ask you to basically support 2 households which is what you are doing right now. Your basic living expenses in ATL have to be met. And not to be too deep in your business but why are you mailing your entire paycheck home? What are you living off of? You need to think of a finite number that you can send to moms and leave it at that. You have to protect your crdit rating. You won’t be living at home forever and if you want to come back to grad school at GaTech, you are going to need it to get an apartment and ulitlities, you know stuff like that…
Ok, I took my last paycheck (from my job back home) and paid off what bills i could (of my own) and spent the majority of the money I had left to drive down here. Ma Dukes loaned me some money to get by (because the job sprung on us on Day 1 that we wouldnt get paid until the very end of June, and the first day of work was 6/1). So, in addtion to my having bills to pay (current and the ones I let slide for May), owing Ma Dukes money and HELPING (meaning I volunteered) to pay a portion of some bills back home, I’m now realizing that I bit off a little bit more than I can chew.
Also, when I said I was mailing my paycheck back home, I didn’t literally mean I was mailing my paycheck back home LOL. I’m with a local credit union back in Baltimore, so every 2 weeks I have to express mail my paycheck to my bank so that it can be deposited into my account.
How the hell did she use $1000 of water.