Here on The Black Lounge, if you go into my archives, you’ll see that the majority of my posts under the category ‘Family’ are centered on my maternal family. That’s because of the fact that I was only exposed to that one side of my family from birth until the age of twelve or so.
I’ve mentioned my paternal family (under the subcategory ‘The Haitians’) a few times, but I’ve never gone into great detail about them or even so much as ranted about them because I’ve never had much to say about them.
Before I get into that though, allow me to explain the importance of the title of this post.
October 13, 2003 was the date of my father’s passing. He died from complications from Malaria-related illness while on a trip to Haiti with my uncle.
When this day rolls around, I find myself in an introspective yet reflective mood. At first, my thoughts center on The Haitians and how they’re coping with this. Somewhere down the line, I start to think about myself, my history and my future.
I could take an all too familiar route and blame my dad for all my failures and misdeeds because he chose not to be around from the time I was born until the time I was twelve. I could have been the dude that held a grudge over another man’s immature decision, but I chose not to. Why, you ask? (Peep my Random Thought of the Moment for the answer to that question.)
Although my father is by no means the ‘Father of the Year’, he’s still an integral part of who I am. His absence for the majority of my life (although jacked up in its own way) has helped to mold me into the person that I am today, and the person that I am evolving into. He must have done something right, because my mother claims that I possess many of his traits and characteristics; whatever that means.
I’m grateful because I was afforded the opportunity to know him for as long as I did, and also because that’s a luxury that some people will never be afforded.
Thinking about my father and his actions makes me wonder what I’ll be like as a father. Although I don’t intend on having children for awhile, I can at least say that fatherhood is a passing thought of mines from time to time. I can say one thing though; I’ve learned from his mistake and I can say for a fact that I’ll be there for mines from day one.
So on this fifth anniversary of a not so great day, I’m gonna take the time out and reminisce over you.
Random Thought of the Moment:
“Strong feelings do not necessarily make a strong character. The strength of a man is to be measured by the power of the feelings he subdues not by the power of those which subdue him.”
The Song of the Moment: “T.R.O.Y.” by Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth