A Conversation.

Me: “Yo, you still competing in the ‘Do You Know Your Best Friend Contest’  with me tonight?”

Best Friend (or so I thought) A: “Uh, nah. Me and my girl are gonna chill today. Besides, I don’t know you well enough!

WTF?! I’ve been scratching my head about the last line of  the above conversation for a week now. (And yes, that was a real conversation).

How can you be quote-en-quote Best Friends or better yet, “brothers” with someone that you claim you barely know?

I’ve been cool with Best Friend A since the Sixth Grade. And although, we didn’t start chillin outside of school until after graduation, We’ve gotten (or at least I thought) pretty tight in the almost five years it’s been. So you can imagine my surprise when dude said those words over the phone.  I can’t front though; Best Friends A and Q have said that to me before.

A couple of years back during one of our many cruising  around the Capital Beltway sessions at about midnight or so the conversation turned to them asking me why I don’t open up about myself to them, when they’ve done it on numerous occasions. Outside of the rare occurrence of drama in my life which they’ve been around for (the crazy GF and subsequent incidents of ’06, and probably one or two other things that I can’t remember), I lead a pretty mundane and predictable life. During the school year, I work, I go to class, I study and I sleep. Outside of the random phone call or rare drop through, I’m pretty much M.I.A. for the better part of an entire semester. It’s not because of my not wanting to be around them, it’s because I have things I need to do. With my having to work every weekend, that ends up confining my social time to the school week. And during that time,  im usually on campus covering an event for the Yearbook or Newspaper, studying or at home doing homework.

If I do feel stressed out about something, 9 times out of 10 it’s school related; and outside of last semester when I was stressing about Engineering Mechanics and every phone call to them was about it; I usually keep it to myself and keep it moving.

Could he feel that he doesn’t know who I am anymore because I don’t come around as much? Could it be because I don’t vocalize my issues and stressors?

I honestly don’t know.

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5 Responses to A Conversation.

  1. I too feel I don’t know you well enough. You need to open up more. You can start with your bank account #

  2. brran1 says:

    Yea ok. Idk if you want that info homie. My bank account is so low, that I owe the bank dust.

  3. Jamar Herrod says:

    Um friendships should not dissolve simply because you have chosen to focus on school. A true friend would not focus on caring on drama simply because he/she does not want to talk to u. 5 years of knowing someone says alot about your commitment to them. True friendships dont end up leaving you with more questions than answers. Is this someone you feel is important enough to be a friend? Think about it.

  4. idk, i guess actions can be a form of summation that opver rides time

  5. Tiggah Casanova™ says:

    Ok I tried to be nice and understanding because you were venting. Why did you have to blog about it instead of calling me? You could’ve said something to me online that Sunday when you asked me about the Collab Session. You are my brother we been through a lot together. Granted I didn’t know you were hurt by what I said. I mean lets be honest here. We that is Bestfriends Q, N, and I don’t know you. We believe you tell us what you want us to know. In the span of five years I still know nothing about what makes Brandon tick. I don’t like how you just blogged about the situation without even talking to me first. I do believe no I know I told you a week prior to the event that I would have to see what me and Double C were doing that day. Don’t try to make it like I’m always with my girl. You know me and her were chilling 3 days out the work week and then on the weekend. But that’s besides the point. I know its your blog and you can write about whatever you want. But that story is one sided. Not to mention you’re blogger buddies speaking on something they know nothing about. This is the only reason I am saying something. Because they don’t know the whole story and neither do you. You didn’t even care to do research before you started writing. You just assumed. I’m gonna tell you what is I don’t knock you for going to school and I don’t knock you for going to work. You’re just doing what you feel you need to do. So don’t make it out to be like I’m making choose between chilling with us and school and you’re job. I’m sorrii if my drive and ambition doesn’t match yours. I’m sorry if school doesn’t interest me like it does for you. I’m sorry if I choose to have fun then work. I’m sorry if I don’t take life as seriously as you do. You brought up how we used to chill like 2 years ago. That was in the past. That’s what I like to call the good old days. When times were chillz we went everywhere. We did everything. Now we barely do anything together. You always ask when are we gonna get cheese steaks or go to Sonic but me and Twin are waiting on you. When I do go somewhere with Twin and Double C or Nashava you would ask where was my invite. I do invite you but you always decline. I even try to work around your schedule. I know you work on the weekends I know you got school and work. I still invite you even I know you’re gonna say no. You’re quick to say no but you never consider the option of just going to show face and leave. You don’t have to stay its just the fact that you came. Its been numerous times where you would say I gotta go home first. You would go home and then we would end up not going anywhere. You told me and Twin on numerous occasions if you aren’t out of the house by 9 or 10 o’clock then you aren’t going anywhere. Not to mention those times where you just stood us up. Me and Twin sitting on the phone waiting for you dressed and everything and you never came. Anyway back to the point I’m tryna make. When I say I don’t know you I mean its hard to know a person who is Casper the ghost. Its hard to know someone who you can’t talk to when you have problems because they don’t know how to step out of their shoes and step in yours. Its hard to know someone who is closed-minded to some things and find it hard to understand what we may be goin through but expect us to understand what they’re goin through. Its hard to know someone who won’t talk about what’s going on with them even when you know that it is something wrong with them. 5 years is a long time. Hell since the sixth grade is a long time. I don’t understand why it is so hard to talk to your bestfriends or better yet your brother. You would think that the men of this group would be closer than anybody but no its completely different. Me and Chiquii are closer than anybody. We are basically one person. After 11 years we know eachother up and down, inside and out, dreams and fears, etc. I can’t say that about you or Nashava and I’ve known ya’ll just as long. Well I’m learning Nashava bits and pieces as time goes on. She talks about things that bother her. Well she talks about everything. You know I used to think that you and her were twins like me and Chiquii but I was wrong. You don’t talk to her either. What’s so hard about opening up to your Bestfriends? Is it hard because we may have a joke or 2 when you talk to us? Could it be that we don’t exactly share the same drive and ambition that you do? I hope this answers your question(s) but next time don’t blog about it. Don’t be afraid to call a nucca not to say that you are, but I rather you talk to me face to face or on the phone instead of writing about it and sending me the link to read it.

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