The other night as I was getting ready for work, I started to think of what I would want for lunch the next day. I went to the market on Sunday so I had plenty of options. I usually go shopping once every couple of weeks and end up buying enough food to last me until a few days after my next pay day. As I looked in the freezer I pulled out the unopened (or so I thought) Family Sized box of Hot Pockets. Not only had the box been opened, but HALF of the Hot Pockets were gone. Upon this discovery, I go upstairs to ask Ma Dukes what happened to my food and she called Nephew D upstairs. Here’s where it all gets interesting.
(NOTE: There are a few MANY expletives in this conversation.)
Me: Ma, who ate my Hot Pockets?
Ma Dukes (Who was sleep at the time): Wha? Boy why the hell you yellin!? SHIT!
Me: Ma, I’m not yelling. I just want to know where my food went.
Ma Dukes: I said stop yelling at me dammit!
Me: Ma, I’m not yelling.
Ma Dukes: Well I didn’t touch them. They only other person here was D… so ask him.
Me (Yelling) : [Insert Nephew D’s real name here]! Get up here now!
Nephew D: Yea, what is it?
Me: Where are my Hot Pockets?
Nephew D: I don’t know. I didn’t touch them.
Ma Dukes: Yes you did. You ate one the other day. You said that you called (Insert my real name here) and he said you could have one.
Me: *screwface* Huh? No I didn’t.
Nephew D: Well, um, uh, I only had one.
Ma Dukes: Boy stop lying (sp?). You been eating Hot Pockets all week.
I’m not gonna lie, I pounced on the lil dude. I grabbed him by his neck and pinned him to the ground all while asking him why he touched my food after I explicitly told him not to. All he said was “Get off me. Get off me.” After walking away while my mother talked to him about lying (sp?). I came back and she stepped off to the side.
Me: You need to give me $11 for another box of Hot Pockets.
Nephew D: I don’t have any money. Where am I supposed to get it from?
Me: You should’ve thought about that before you stole what you couldn’t replace. Run me my money playa.
Nephew D: I’ll get it.
The situation died down for the moment and I went back to making my lunch. Still infuriated because I noticed that he obviously brushed off the entire situation, I decided to make my next move. I walked in front of him, grabbed his brand new sneakers and the box and headed up to my room. It got even more interesting as I threw the box onto the floor of my room.
Nephew D: *stomping upstairs and yelling* Give me my shoes! Nana he took my shoes!
I’m ignoring him at this point by the way.
Ma Dukes: *getting back out of the bed* What the hell is the issue now. Got damnit! D… what the hell is wrong with you? You better stop stomping in my damn house!
Nephew D: *Turns his head and doesn’t answer*
Ma Dukes: Boy i’m talking to you!
Nephew D: *in tears* He took my shoes.
Ma Dukes: Ok? Well, you shouldn’t have eaten his food.
Nephew D: *still in tears* But he took my shoes though. How am I supposed to go outside now?
Me: *yelling* You should’ve thought of that before you ate my food!
Nephew D: Shut up, ain’t nobody talking to you.
Me: Who the hell you talking to lil nigga? I’m not S..(his older brother). I’ll drop you where you stand.
At this point I walked close to him and was in his face. He’s only 12 and 5’4″ so I was towering over him, but I still wanted to get my point across and let him know the deal up front.
Nephew D: Ain’t nobody scared of you.
Me: Do something then lil nigga. Run me my damn money.
At this point my mother separated us. I went back to where I was standing and then he and I argued from across the hallway.
Me: Keep talkin shit. I’ll jack you up. Ain’t nobody playin with your ass.
Nephew D: I ain’t scared of you, I’ll stab you.
Ma Dukes: *yelling* Ain’t nobody stabbin shit up in my house! D…go downstairs now damnit!
After he said that. I walked back up to him and said…
Me: Stab who? Me? Go ahead and get the knife whore. I’ll be up here waiting.
Ma Dukes walked between us and dragged him downstairs. Then he said…
Nephew D: We’ll see how much you’ll be yelling and getting in my face after I slit your throat.
After the situation died down, my mother explained to him why I took his shoes. And I told him that he’ll get his shoes back when I get the money in my hand. Best believe that I had something in my room to take care of him if he chose to come into my room as I slept. I take all threats seriously, idle or not. As far as this whole stabbing situation went down, I’ll deal with that either today or tomorrow.
The whole point of doing what I did was to teach him a lesson. Up until this point he has done things and gotten away with them only having been yelled at. He needs to learn the fact that the things that he does can and do carry consequences. I’d rather him cry about losing a pair of shoes than have somebody out in the neighborhood try to shoot and kill him because he took something that wasn’t his. Hopefully the message gets through loud and clear.
I may not like him right now, but I still have his back. And I refuse to let him turn out like his older brother.
The Black Lounge 
Wow..maybe he will know next time not to touch your stuff then lie about it…I can dig that
Hopefully he’ll learn his lesson and remember not to take things w/o asking…. Although, I’m sure it might need repeating a time or two.
Ma Dukes is a narc!!LOL! My mama would have thrown herself under that bus if it meant getting her precious Grandson an a$$ whoopin.
However, way to go, brran!
So you know had I been him it wouldn’t even have went down like that.
None the less my 12 yr old fears the air I breath….did you hear that? THE AIR…you might not understand so let me explain…
I breathe…he RUNS this is how I like things simply because one day, and this day is inevitable, he will feel in his inner mind that he can take me, but his heart will jump to his throat to be closer to his brain and will scream at the top of it’s lungs
“Do you NOT remember this dude tossing the fridge out the living room front window because someone drank the last capri sun!”
I’d never thought of handling a kid like this. You’re so paternal! Gonna make a good dad someday. *ahem* Don’t rush it though.
You got your $$ yet?
Only time will tell whether or not he’s truely learned his lesson. I can only do but so much you know? And I did get my money btw. I wasn’t playing about that.
@B: Yea…see, that works for you. If I was your little brother, I wouldn’t mess with you either. Who would throw a fridge out the front window over a Capri Sun?
@Coop: Thanks, I hear that a lot. And trust me, there definitely won’t be any lil brran’s running around anytime soon. I’m still in selfish mode. Lol..
lol.. whole situation funny. Stealing food, taking the shoes, Ma getting in the middle. They “stab you” threat, hilarious… He does need to learn to leave other peoples stuff alone though. sometimes tough love is the best love.
I would have voted for the “drop a nigga” where they stood. Sometimes an ass whipping is just so very necessary.