Faith. Or Something Like It.

I’m in Germany working a Summer Internship.

I’ve been afforded the opportunity to travel around Europe and see things that I’ve read about.

I’ve been afforded the opportunity to meet some of the most influential people in the world.

All of that, and somethings still off kilter.For the past few weeks, I’ve been in a bit of a rut. Depression? Homesickness? A combination of the two? Maybe. I’m not quite sure. My mind has been all over the place as of late and I started to distance myself from my surroundings and friends to make sense of it all. And then once I thought I couldn’t deal with the issue, I shut myself off. Stopped talking for the most part. Being around people. Just lived in my head.

I got into contact with my childhood friend Quiana back home (she used to blog) and we had a LONG conversation about the issue at hand. She’s apparently dealing with the same issue that I am. After comparing notes, I felt better but was still at a loss for how to solve the problem. So, I made the next logical step.

I thought about what my mother and grandmother would do, and I went to church.

Anyone that truly knows me, knows that I haven’t been inside a church since I was a teenager. An initial indifference about going to church later coupled with a job that entails working every weekend keeps that from happening.

I went. Sat through the sermon and took away some life lessons, one being that life is made up of highs and lows. You can’t reach those heights if you’re comfortable in the valleys wallowing in all that’s wrong.

At that moment, it hit me. That’s exactly what I was doing. I spent so much time and energy wallowing and beating myself up for the things that weren’t where I wanted them to be, that I totally forgot that I had the power to change those things if I put the work in.

And that’s what I’m on now. I’ve thought about how I’ve handled myself and my life up until this point and I see that things are off-balance. All work, no play if you will. I’ve been operating like a shut-in and it’s time to make a change.

Stay tuned. I have a feeling that this’ll get interesting.

This entry was posted in Anxiety, Education, Life, Life Lessons, Religion and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Faith. Or Something Like It.

  1. sunnydelyte21 says:

    I think we all go thru something of that nature. I’m glad you found out what the problem is. And you are on your way to do something about it!


  2. Coop says:

    Yes! Change is good.
    Always here if you need to talk , too.

  3. Horus says:

    You know what? I’ve felt the same lately. So I started to think about when I was the most happy in life. And I made a list of things I was doing back then. And I started vigorously taking action on that list. And guess what? It’s starting to work! Sometimes we gotta remember the past to move forward. Whoever said “Don’t look back” might’ve been a fool.

    Regardless, best of luck to you.

  4. mct88 says:

    oh man i’ve been there. hope you’re doing better.

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